Thermal indifference
Hot mug, cold glass, medium feelings. QORK remains cork about it.
Made for mugs. Built for tables.
QORK
The world's most unnecessarily intelligent cork coaster. Now rendered in real time, because a still image could never justify the invoice.
Designed by an algorithm*
Powered by AI*
QORK studies your mug, your table, and your fragile need for meaning. Then it performs the ancient computation of being under the cup.
*Adobe Illustrator. Emotionally.
Features that almost sound real
Precision elevation
Raises your drink exactly one coaster above the table. Breakthrough.
Ambient intelligence
Quietly notices spills by not participating in them.
Security through obvious physicality
Flip-to-encrypt
Write the message. Flip the coaster. Nobody can read it unless they understand flipping things back over.
Macro texture engine
Grip you can inspect
Procedural cork grain, bumped in WebGL and exposed in this fake lab window for shareholder-grade certainty.
friction coefficient 0.82
Wearable intelligence
Coffee biometrics
mug confidence99.4%
table anxietylow
coaster compute0 W
Plant-based infrastructure
Sustainably overdesigned
Rating & reviews · 4.9 / 5
People around the world love QORK
★★★★★ "I tried to benchmark it. It just sat there. Flawless."Dr. Lin H. · MLPerf enjoyer
★★★★½ "Finally, a model I can run at home."Sam T. · 8GB VRAM survivor
★★★★★ "Zero hallucinations. It's a coaster."Priya D. · AI safety researcher
Choose your own
QORK
The original. One coaster. One job. Done beautifully.
| Stack | 1 coaster |
|---|---|
| Connectivity | None |
| Updates | Never |
| Best for | Daily mugs, quiet desks |
Our SOTA open-weight model
QORK-1
We present an open-weight coaster. The weights are the coaster. It weighs 14 grams. Limitations include gravity, mugs, and someone willing to put it down.
We caught your attention with a coaster that does not exist.
QORK is an original satirical WebGL homage to ORYZO by Lusion. The product is fictional. The scroll choreography, procedural cork material, particles, and 3D coaster are real enough to waste electricity.